Dark Skin Vs. Light Skin


Why are we having this conversation? As if there isn’t enough beauty to go around. The true battle between light and dark is who’s going to be on top. Who’s going to get all the money? Who’s going to get the best mates? Who’s going to feel worthy of the love they receive? Who’s going to live a happy life? Let’s be real here. The major problem with African American women of the deeper shade is our ego. We want to be on top. We are no different than any African American male who uses his money or status to attract women. We want the hottest guy. The biggest… whatever! We want to be revered.

Yes, there is an external battle. Regarding perception, how others regard our innocence, brilliance, work ethic, but this conversation that I’m having is about colorism within our community. It’s about how we Chocolettes, feel about being Chocolettes at home.

When I was growing up, I was never called any names. No one said,”Hey Tar Baby!” No one clowned me for being SUPA chocolate. The general consensus in my community was that light skinned people were mixed with white… involuntarily. I’ve learned more since then but overall we didn’t see the value in being involuntarily integrated other than having a child who was more acceptable in white society.


So I grew up believing my family had dodged a bullet. Believing we were whole and beautiful. I don’t believe this is an exception. I grew up having the man I wanted, Yes. No matter the skin tone. Did I get the job I wanted, Yes. The attention I wanted? No. My issue was I wasn’t the hottest. I was hot but not the hottest. I was voted Kwanzaa Queen, I was the date of the Prom King but I wanted more. I’ve grown up since high school and I’d like to ask every Chocolette to do the same.



What have you missed? The chance to be arrogant? The opportunity to use a man for money? The chance to believe you are more than you truly are? Most men find dark-skinned Chocolettes gorgeous unless they are dominated by their ego. The ego makes a man deny true beauty in favor of false pride. Black men in particular, LOVE their mothers, almost unnaturally. Why wouldn’t they be attracted to a
woman who looks like the love of their life other than the need to comfort a bruised ego. The ego makes a man favor the approval of the masses over the desires of their hearts.

Chocolettes I implore you. Get over your vanity and enjoy your beauty. Play to your audience and love yourself as is. Don’t ache for popularity. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t pursue hotness. Love you. NOW!!!

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